Why me ... and why now?

March 22, 2013

A shadow has hung over me for 15 years.

Optical neuritis = MS.

Visions of my life in a wheelchair, blind. Completely dependent on others. But no definite diagnosis. Just a maybe, one day. Every headache, every pins and needles, every twinge and every night of insomnia – is this the beginning of the end.

On 3 January 2013 I lost vision in one eye. More like blurry vision – looking through a soap sudded shower screen. I couldn’t see the flashing red Christmas lights. I lived on panadol. After ignoring for a week, went to GP, referred to eye clinic, referred to MRI, given diagnosis by GP, referred to neurologist, sent for spinal tap, referred to MS Australia to find out medical and support options, back to GP for a health plan and a mental health plan, back to neuro.

It is now March and I am coming to terms with MS and RRMS. I am ashamed to tell people and those I have had different reactions, most of which I have needed to be the strong one. Managing their reactions. Giving them comfort.

So this blog is my headspace.

It won’t be pretty, but it will be honest.

If you are reading, likely you have your own journey. So I welcome your feedback links between our own blogs.

Each of us have to travel alone, but that doesn’t mean we have to be alone.