March 28, 2013

What if life is no dress rehearsal?

What if this really is as good as it gets?

We will never look younger – than we do today.

If over, say 20, we will never be faster, stronger than we are today. At 4X and happily married, I will never have young love again, and with breeding now behind me, will never hold my own new born again.

So what?

With age comes a certain confidence. With knock downs and knock backs comes a certain resilience.

So what if today is the best day of the rest of my life?

I am going to continue to live life to the fullest, and accept the consequences if MS kicks me in the face (or eyes, as is more likely).

Appreciate the moments with my husband.

Be spontaneous. Not put off doing things until next month, next year or when the kids leave home.

It isn’t easy, but I will accept one date night at a time.

I will continue with uni. (For as long as I have the energy and reduce my expectations to a pass is a pass)

Kids come first. I will find joy in doing the things with them I will no longer take for granted. Reading, playing tennis (even if I can no longer hit the backhand) and just joyful stuff.

I will apply for that job. Even if it will mean pressure and stress.

I have my ambition, and MS.

There may come a time when the career becomes a job and then the job becomes a memory.

But that day isn’t today. And today I have a positive attitude. (And a job application to write)