June 13, 2013

blurred branches

Driving to work in heavy fog, I realised that is how my life is now, diagnosed (finally) with RRMS.

Not seeing where or how bad the next bump is, how far to the next bend, or when the fog in my brain will finally lift for good.

But with 6 months since my optic neuritis, and six months since my MRI and formal diagnosis, there are some good wins.

Six months relapse free. I know that isn’t much to some, uber bragging for others. But, I will take it as a win. And I am aiming for another six months. To see Christmas tree lights with red flashing (other optic neuritis sufferers will understand).

I have taken multiple sclerosis to kick me up the proverbial in terms of looking after my health – to the extent I can. Drinking water. Taking my iron every day – the side effects are nothing to CRAB drugs so I have stopped complaining. Cranberry supplements for UTI and glucosomine for joints. And heaps of fish oil. And heaps of vitamin d. I haven’t missed a day. Oh, and SSRI to get my stress levels in check. Love that Chillax feeling.

Trying to meditate and this week, for the first time, this TYPE A personality meditated with clearer mind for a couple of minutes. Big win.

Strangely, the easiest thing to give up was saturated fat. Easy choice – chips and gravy equals wheelchair. No fat milk no butter, nuts and dried cranberries for snacking. Low fat meat a couple of times a week, chicken and fish the rest. 9 kilos lighter. Skin healthier. 

So, these first six months have been a head game. Angry, depressed, confident, anxious, relieved, scared, grateful. Looking forward to kicking butt for the next 6 months.