December 13, 2013

2013 draws to an end.

One child leaves primary school. Another is almost taller than me. The third can almost fit my shoes. My pretty shoes!

Twelve months ago I couldn’t see red Christmas lights and the headache couldn’t be fixed.

So, almost a year after diagnosis, how do I feel? Relaxed and positive and grateful. 

Things could be worse. My relapse was just that. Enough to get me diagnosed, and encourage me to a better lifestyle. Having given up saturated fat, I am now a size 8-10 from a 14. No girl would complain with that. I don’t even crave hash browns or chips and gravy anymore. I am enjoying salmon and vegetables. Even those that come in salads. my dog is happy with regular walks and my back is happier with strengthening through Body Balance – a cross between yoga, pilates and tai chi.

My down days are when I think of the what ifs

What if I cant think as clearly and my brain goes. What if I can’t move as quickly and think as quickly as I like. What if my body is so unreliable that I can’t plan anything with confidence. What if I fall within the gap between being able to perform my job at the level I rose and salary I earn, but can’t qualify for my invalidity pension. What if I can’t afford to provide for my family. What if the only tangible option is to die and leave them my death benefits.

Then I snap myself out of it and focus on the positives. Nothing will happen overnight. I have a wonderful family and fabulous twitter role models. And a good attitude overall. And have time to plan for alternate income streams – a self funded early retirement if you will.

I am grateful to so many and for so much

And the advances in technology, medicine and natural therapies is progressing all the time. the longer I and we stay as healthy as we can, the more time we give others to kiss multiple sclerosis goodbye.