October 22, 2016

We all know the posts - happy happy, joy joy.

Mostly I find them inspiring. Sometimes I just want to scream.

You see, mostly I am positive. We can beat this stupid disease. It doesn’t matter if I don’t have energy or inclination to clean the house. I get paid the same whether they listen to me at work and respect me, or if they let my skills go to waste.

This week I have been flat. Last weekend, cleaned the house for my cousin to stay. Spent the weekend enjoying her company and going to events. This week I found out a new branch is being established - to do what I was doing and I wasn’t asked to join. And my time was not my own - it belonged to everyone else - family or work.

So, right now I am not the ray of sunshine. And I wasn’t going to blog. After all, who would miss me?  And who am I to bring my reader down.

But, it occurred to me, what if we all have down days.  What if we all have days when we would rather cry than sing? Hide rather than show our face.

So today, I’m not okay. And that is okay. I wont feel this way forever.  Maybe by tomorrow I will have my swagger back. Or maybe it will take me a little longer. But today, it is a day for just being nice to myself.

And recognising that I am not okay. Today.