October 27, 2016

branches rain drops

Whether it is Halloween, Thanksgiving or end of school year events and never ending carousel of Christmas Parties and New Years Eve when you have MS it is less about the event, and more about SURVIVING THE HOLIDAYS WITH MS!

Know and accept your own body. 

Your body, your disease is different to your mum, neighbour, great Aunt who still cycles to work at age 75.  Only you know your body and your disease.  How many events in a day/weekend/week can you handle?  How many late nights can you handle?  What are your early warning signs?  What diet restrictions or medications do you need to stay healthy. 

Fail to plan and you are planning to fail

Remember when life was instinctive, impulsive (irresponsible). Now we need military style planning to get to mid January in good health and energy.

On a single piece of paper, grid out the holiday season so you can see all days all at once. 

  • Highlight the events you cannot avoid.  Important family dinners.  End of year school concerts.  Volunteering at local centre or church. 
  • Circle the dates where you have to ‘do stuff’. Whether it is running car pool, or hosting dinner. 
  • Now, using a different colour, start plotting ‘minor’ events. You should start seeing when you are going to be ‘normal busy’ and ‘insane busy’. This is the time to start rescheduling when you can. 

And start blocking out ‘down time’.  Days when you will just say no to any new invitations.

Shopping 

Now, on a separate list, what are all the gifts you need to buy.  And start shopping online.  Pick a date when all your shopping needs to be done. Then promise yourself, that anyone who hasn’t gotten a gift by then will get a gift voucher.

Christmas Cards

Now is the time to write your Christmas letter.  Even two - one for family and one for friends.  If you make your own cards, then how about organising a ‘card making night’.  Everyone makes 10 cards of the same design and then you swap.  Mark that down as a ‘Christmas get together’. Or buying them from a charity shop. Start now and do a couple each night.  Prioritise your Christmas card list and pick a date when you will post them.  Anyone that you didn’t get to, ensure you send a text or a phone call on the day. Or a personal message on FB.

Rest

Go back to your schedule.  You know your body, you know what you are about to face.  Now you need to ensure your body can survive.  Plan your rest.  Which days can you (should you) have a lie down?  When should you have a few early nights in the lead up to one late night?  Or early nights to recover.  Plan it now and block out the time 

Food, Glorious Food.

The holiday season is a time for sharing a meal with loved ones.  Whether you are hosting a main, or expected to bring a plate, you still need to plan. 

  • Plan your menu.
  • Plan your shopping and preparation - what can you buy in advance and freeze?  What can you do one week/three days/one day in advance? 
  • Alcohol. You know your body and disease.  Plan your alcohol free days.  How many drinks in one day?  If it is going to be a long day, do you even drink at all?
  • Plan what you will eat.  Keep snacks with you or in your car so you always have something that you can eat.

Stay strong.  If you are following a diet protocol to beat your MS, and if it is working - DONT STOP NOW. If your family truly love you, they will support you. And if they don’t love you, they are not work risking your health.  Which leads me to your team.

Who is on your team

Just because you are related to family, doesn’t always mean they are on your team.  ‘Just one, it won’t hurt you’.  Yes it will.  ‘Just stay a little later - you never used to be a party pooper’. No, I can’t and things have changed. 

Know who is on your team, and get them up to speed on your schedule and strategy for surviving the holiday season.  Tell them where you would appreciate their help  Even if it is dealing with other family members.

For others, prepare your ‘narrative’. Here are some of my favourites.  Feel free to use and enjoy your holidays.

  • ‘Oh, that looks lovely - but I can’t eat another bite’
  • ‘I’d love to, but I need to pace myself - we have just been at/we are going to xxx later.’
  • ‘If we don’t leave now, I won’t get up for the gym/meet friends for a walk tomorrow morning’
  • ‘I’d love to come, but I’m already doing something that day - how about we catch up after Christmas when things aren’t so crazy?’
  • ‘Hey, xxx, great night - haven’t had a chance to really catch up.  I’m heading off now, but I’ll give you a call and we can catch up for coffee/dinner later’
  • ‘I’d love to try it, but I’m under a new doctor and he is working through different allergic reactions’ (this has worked for my Swank protocol - no one has asked if my doctor is local or even alive)

Narratives work when they are true. They also work when you have a quick redirect.  People love themselves, and no matter how interested they seem in your disease and your life, redirect a question about something in their life and they will stop wanting you to do something different.

Happy holidays!